Saturday, February 10, 2007

Voice of Thunder

So while I was in New York, my hotel caught fire.

I was dreaming of designing a game about a spider going up a water spout, chased by cats and avoiding drops, when I was roused from my sleep by a voice over the loudspeaker:

Attention Residents! There is No Danger! Do not evacuate!

This was at four in the morning. Needless to say, I was suddenly very awake.

Attention Residents! There is No Danger! Do not evacuate!

And at that point, I was aware that I had a loudspeaker in my room. And for some reason, this did not make me feel particularly secure.

Attention Residents! This is the Head of Hotel Security! There is No Danger! Please stay in your rooms.

OK, let me roll over and go back to sleep!

Attention Residents! This is the Head of Hotel Security! There has been a small fire on the 2nd floor. The fire department has been called. There is No Danger! Do not evacuate!

And now I heard the sound of water running, in the walls. It was the reason I was dreaming of water downspouts. It sounded like a river. And somewhere in the distance the peeping of a fire alarm. And in the air, the faint smell of .... smoke?

Attention Residents! This is the Head of Hotel Security! There has been a small fire on the 2nd floor. The fire department has it under control. There is No Danger! Please stay in your rooms.

So I stayed, in particular since the Voice of Thunder was going off every minute, I was not getting back to sleep. And every time I thought I would, it went off again.

Attention Residents! This is the Head of Hotel Security! A burst pipe has caused a small fire on the 2nd floor. The fire department has it under control There is No Danger! Do not evacuate!

So why are you telling me this? I am 21 floors above it?

Attention Residents! This is the Head of Hotel Security! A burst pipe on the 29th floor has caused a small fire on the 2nd floor. The fire department has put the fire out! There is No Danger! Do not evacuate!

Well, that explains the water in the walls, at least.

And so it went throughout the early morning hours.

Attention Residents! This is the Head of Hotel Security! Have you ever wondered if you've chosen the correct path in your life?

OK, they didn't say that, but it went on forever, repeating itself in case someone might have missed the previous twenty reports. Finally, it abated, and they let the people who apparently ignored the warnings and came down go back to their rooms (Yeah, they announced that as well).

And in the morning the power was out for half of the hotel, the elevators were on manual, and there was the smell of smoke in the air.

Of the Voice of Thunder, however, there was no sign. I think he went home to bed.

More later,